#21

Hi assalamualaikum. Today I feel like I want to type, everything what I feel. Tiba tiba idea ni pop out dalam fikiran masa tengah drive back from kelana jaya tadi. Hmm. I told person who the most closed to me about this. They said I need to learn to let him go. And it was something I have tried. Aku dah cuba. Tapi somehow, it comes back. Serious talk ah, dah 4-5 years, aku still tak boleh. Entah, aku rasa macam aku tak kuat. Aku tak nak semua tu pergi. But the real, I need. Aku yg taknak. Dulu, aku nak sangat semua tu blah. Bila datang balik, aku rasa aku taknak semua tu pergi. Somehow, I loves to lives with the memories. But we still need to open new books right? Aku nak kata aku macam tersepit dalam keadaan, tak adalah tersepit mana. Ada ah sikit sikit. Tapi entah, tu je yang aku mampu kata. Aku sendiri pun tak ada sebab kenapa aku tak boleh nak let go. Kadang kadang rasa aku ni bodoh, tapi memang ye bodoh pun sebab nakkan dia lagi. Buat apa? Entah, aku sayang. I should stop loving him. I should stop. But you can't force yourself isn't? I knew he didn't even thingking or cared about me and somehow I should to the same thing. Aku ingat cakap kawan aku "mungkin Allah tahu kau tak ready lagi." And yes, mungkin benda tu betul. Tapi aku jealous tengok orang lain. Bila aku nak rasa bahagia balik? Bila aku nak happy balik? Bukan nak kata aku tak happy, I do. Tapi hati ni rasa kosong. Kosong. Hm I believe the right time will come soon. Stay strong dearself!

Anyway, lama tak update blog. Now tengah semester break. Kejap dah nak masuk semester 4. Moga result sem 3 baik2. May I pass with flying colours result, insyaAllah Ameen! Moga Allah permudahkanya :) So, berhenti dekat sini kut. Ada mood aku update lagi ye? Haha bye, Annyeonghaseyo!